Unfollowed.

I have never been the type of person that ever just wanted to be a pretty face with thousands of adoring fans telling me how perfect I am. I have always had really strong opinions and a giant mouth. I have always been unapologetic for taking a stance for the underdog and for my people. I have always been strongly outspoken on womens rights, LGBTQ rights, civil rights, environmental issues, health care, etc. This isn't new.

I know we all saw the Meryl Streep speech the other night. What I find so interesting is the backlash. I feel the same backlash on a much smaller scale-- but it still blows my mind. Why, just because someone is an artist, are they not entitled to opinions? Does being a public figure all of a sudden nullify any rights you have to being a human and having human emotions and thoughts? Is your doctor allowed to think and speak freely? How about your mechanic? How about a banker? Lawyer? Nail tech? Hair stylist? Can your neighbor express their thoughts as they see fit? I hope your answer to all of these is yes because we are all humans living in the free world.

Celebrities and artists have a bigger reach, yes. And they also have more influence, totally. And with that comes a great responsibility. But in my opinion the responsibility isn't to censor ourselves-- the responsibility is to speak out on the things that matter to us. If I make a post saying I will miss Obama and 500 Trump loving, gun toting, flag waving Republicans unfollow me... cool. If I make a post about gay rights and 1 person who thought being gay was wrong goes "wait! I really like Cherry and what she believes in, maybe I should take a second to rethink"... that one moment is worth those 500 lost "fans." I AM NOT YOUR PUPPET. I am not here to dance for you as you see fit.

I want to get one major point clear here-- I DO NOT DO WHAT I DO TO COLLECT FANS AND TO BE TOLD HOW GREAT I AM ALL OF THE TIME. Is it nice to hear nice things, of course!! Does it make my spirit soar when I get to hug a girl and she tells me my videos changed her life? YES! Am I going to cry myself to sleep because some girl that posts 1000 videos of contouring and looking "perfect" has about 15 times the following that I do? Nope. We all do what we do for our own reasons. I happen to want to share my passions-- which include both superficial and non-superficial topics.

Another point I feel strongly about-- my page is not your playground for "free speech." My pages are my online living room. If you walked into my living room and started attacking me and calling me names, I would gladly tell you to get out of my house. I have that same right online in my own space, just as you have that same right on yours. But just because my space is public, doesn't mean it isn't still mine.

I love when people leave comments to try to bait me and call me a whiny liberal baby and say I will probably delete their post because I can't handle an opposing opinion. And then I hit delete and laugh. I am all for differing opinions. It makes this world interesting and colorful. And I am all for well informed, educated arguments presented without attacking or name calling. I rarely delete comments from my page. But you better believe when some ignorant man calls me "a retarded bitch" for being sad that the Obamas are leaving office, he gets deleted and blocked. I don't encourage that behavior and will not dignify trolls like that with a second of my attention.

Lastly, if you find what I post SO offensive and distasteful that you cannot bear ONE more second of following me without perhaps dying... Feel free to just hit the unfollow button. Making a big dramatic announcement that you are unfollowing me will only be met with an eye roll and will only make you look silly. Exit with grace. Move on if you must.

All of that being said, I welcome anyone to follow me that likes the things that I post and is willing to skip past the things that they don't. I welcome open minded, free thinkers. I welcome anyone interested in engaging in respectful, adult conversations. If you want to see a pretty face with a vacant space between the ears and in their heart, I am not your girl. And that is ok.

I am a different flavor.

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Stop Searching for Outrage

I woke up this morning to an inbox FULL of the same comment from my youtube channel. The comment reads "Is that a fucking swastika on your necklace in photo 7 of your photo gallery? Take that shit down"

Not only was this left in my inbox as a private message, it was also left as a comment on dozens of my videos. Before I replied to this lovely lady, I took a deep breath to regroup and phrase my response firmly but with all of the kindness I could muster.

The photo (to the right) was a picture of me from high school. It is black and white. The necklace in question is actually an ANTI swastika-- a type of necklace that was super popular among the punk and ska crowd in the late 90s. This necklace was sold EVERYWHERE. I am sure many of you reading this had one. The circle and cross that made it anti were red. Which means in a black and white photo, it is really hard to see. Ok, I get it. To someone that doesn't know what this necklace is, at first glance it might look like I am just a super nazi.

Here is the thing though... Why did this girl feel the need to blast my social media, outing me as a nazi, before I even had a chance to explain or defend myself? This is a prime example of the beast of human that social media has created. Everyone is just primed and ready for outrage. In fact, people scour every last deep corner for it in hopes that they will be the one to uncover all of our dark, seedy pasts. And ok, I get it-- when you find pictures of Tila Tequila doing nazi salutes at a white supremacist rally, it is pretty hard to explain away. But a 20 year old grainy black and white photo is hardly a smoking gun.

I guess the point of my blog today is to stop the witch hunts. If you find something on the internet that seems suspect and you would like further clarification, ask the poster directly. Don't DEMAND something of a stranger based off of a half baked judgment. And regardless of what it is that you find offensive, it is never your right as a human to make demands of another human. Like it or not we live in a country full of freedoms and being an asshole won't change anyones perspective. There are a lot of things in this world and on the internet that you might not find to your liking. So keep moving. Or get off of the internet and actually make real changes.

Happy Thursday.

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Day 64- Keep Your Sexist Remarks

This morning I woke up to find a post in a Facebook group that I follow that was meant to be kind and respectful. It was by a man that puts on a large festival thanking the two women that work for him and telling the public how much they do for him. This festival is at least one of the gals full time jobs. JOBS. The photo he chose was a promo pic from a denim line of both of them. And yes, they both happen to be mega babes.
Here is where I was shocked. I scrolled through the comments and while a lot of it was just general "Wow! They are pretty" and other generally supportive posts, there was a good handful of posts that alluded to wanting to have sex with these women. There were posts from people that were shocked the man posting could get any work done without wanting to have sex with these girls constantly. There were even posts talking about being on top of them and under them. I was absolutely disgusted.
Being the general loud mouth that I am, I had to speak. I made a post saying that I thought the sexist comments were rude and uncalled for and that I doubted these men would like it if other men talked to their moms and daughters like that. The post was about the work place merits of these women. It literally made NO mention of their looks or physical attributes. In my opinion, what they look like shouldn't have mattered at all to anyone reading. But ok, I get that people will comment nice things when they see hot babes. And that is cool.
So anyway, fast forward to about an hour ago... A comment pops up from a gal telling me to mind my own business and that there are thousands of women ALL over the world that would be OVERJOYED to have men talk about them in a sexually explicit way because it makes them feel good. (yes, these were her actual words) And also, that if they didn't want to be talked about that way, they wouldn't have worn tight, revealing clothing in the photos (they were wearing jeans and t-shirts). She then told me to stop acting like a delicate flower. How DARE I be offended about verbal sexual abuse. Gosh, my bad! She ended her rant by telling me to stop "sucking the fun out of life." And then, the icing on the cake, she said "Feminists, lol."
I just can't. If being sexually harassed by weird, older, strange men on the internet is the "fun" in life, then yes, by all means, I will suck that right out of my life. Come to think of it, any man that makes these comments on the internet-- regardless of what they look like. I find it hard to believe that there are many women on this earth that enjoy men talking about being on top of them on a post that their BOSS posted about their work merits. I would be horrified if these comments were presented in front of my boss. There are laws set forth in work places against this behavior. Because it is WRONG. Also, just because SOME people don't find racist remarks offensive, doesn't mean they are ok. I don't get this logic, at all.
I just don't understand women like this. Feminism isn't a dirty word. Standing up for our sexual rights and also wanting to be treated respectfully and professionally shouldn't make me a delicate flower. It should make me an educated, thoughtful, outspoken woman.
There IS a line between kind and disrespectful and I will never stop protecting my sisters from this disgusting behavior. It is NOT ok.

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Day 61- Keep Your Scene Drama

I travel a lot. I work in a lot of different countries, in a lot of different cities, with a lot of different girls. Listen, I am not naive to think that every girl is all sunshine and rainbows all of the time. And I know that within scenes of girls, there is always going to be some sort of turmoil. We have periods. It's unavoidable.

But here is the thing... I DONT CARE. My least favorite thing ever is hearing about local drama. Who hates who. Who screwed over who. Who stole who's ideas. Who is "stalking" you. I hate hearing it. All of it. I hate getting emails from girls before I hit a city, telling me all about how bad the local drama is. I hate when I get to a city, and the girls I am working with/on vent endlessly about the local drama. I REALLY DONT CARE. Like, seriously. Nothing you say is going to make me dislike the random people you are talking about. Nothing you say is going to get me on your side. Everything you say is most likely going to turn me off and force me to tune you out.

Let's talk about real life. Let's talk about you. Tell me what you do. Tell me what you like to do. Tell me about your husband/wife. Tell me anything but gossip. Hell, let's just talk about the weather.

If I am ever pulled into any scene drama, I will most likely just skip that city altogether. I really can't stress enough how much I REALLY REALLY DONT CARE. 

None of this stuff is my business. And it is really unfair when girls are trashing other girls who are my followers and like what I do. You are not making that other person look bad, you are making yourself look bad. And it also bums me out when I have potential hosts tell me that they would love to host my class but girl A, B and C can't come because they have some ridiculous beef. If you want to host my class or shoots, please know that everything I do is ALL inclusive. This means that if you want to exclude anyone, I will be happy to look elsewhere for another host.

I really can't stress all of this enough. I like my life to be as minimally stressful as humanly possible. And feuding broads seriously stress me out. 

Do something more productive with your life. Read a book or something.

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Day 46- Oh Valentine's Day

Sorry for the weekend hiatus. I needed some me time.
Yes, yesterday was Valentine's Day. And as much as I WANT to love it, I just don't. I just can't.
Growing up, I loved VD (sorry-- I am too lazy to keep typing it and the acronym makes me giggle). I loved crafting Valentines and picking the right candies for the right people. I loved opening my little Valentines box and dissecting every last one. I loved coming home and seeing the little display my mom had set up for me and my brother with balloons and candy. I loved the aesthetic. Hearts and teddy bears and pink and red. I loved it all.
As I got older, I realized that VD for adults is much different. It becomes stressful and anxiety causing. If you are in a new relationship, you agonize over what to get the other person that will be sweet, but not too over the top. And then you hope that they didn't get you something super extravagant that makes you look like an asshole. If you are in a long term relationship, you feel like each year you have to prove yourself more. And people start expecting rings. There are also those broads that measure their mans love by the gifts she gets for VD. Men everywhere are sweating bullets trying to prepare a night that is supposed to express their feelings through chocolates and dinner and giant stuffed things.
I know that VD is still special for a lot of people-- mostly females. I honestly don't know a man alive that gives a crap about VD. And even if he cares to make it special for his lady-- he still could live without it. But I get it... Something about this day makes people feel all schmoopy.
I honestly feel like it is a forced holiday. When I feel like showing my husband that I care, I show him. And he does the same. He brings me flowers when I am sad, or when the weather changes. He leaves me little love notes when he leaves for tour or when I get home. He gives me kisses and sweet words every day just because. And those little things mean to much more to me than a bunch of crap bought at the supermarket on a day that the world tells you to prove your love.
Maybe I am just a cynical jerk face. Those of you that cherish it can keep it. But the last 7 years I have been VD free and I am loving it.

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Day 37-- Breakfast Is The Most Important Meal

I am a breakfast person. I eat breakfast every day. And it has to be substantial. Eggs, avocado toast, oatmeal... Cereal days are reserved for the days that my cupboards are bare and they seriously bum me out. My favorite breakfast is (left) poached eggs on top of avocado on top of toast drizzled with olive oil and sprinkled with salt and pepper.
Something I learned very quickly when I started traveling is that not everyone values breakfast as highly as I do. I have spent several morning hours with hosts and photographers that don't even eat a single morsel of anything before lunch. Meanwhile, I am hanging out trying to quell my stomach growls that are only matched by my hangry nature. After my first full tour, I packed my luggage to the gills with breakfast bars and to go oatmeal cups. I WILL NEVER GO HUNGRY AGAIN.
(As I am typing this, my annoying husband is telling me to write something in my blog today about him. So here it is. Now quit bugging me baby)
When Trevor and I went to Italy for our honeymoon, we also learned quickly that Italians do not value breakfast the way we do. Rather, I do. Trevor thinks I am obsessed with breakfast to a fault. I think it is a human necessity. We spent our first 3 mornings in Rome with him drinking coffee and us both eating pastries. Which is fun and romantic. For about 3 days. By the 4th day, I would have strangled a small human for just one plate of scrambled eggs or a morsel of bacon. By the time we got to Florence, it was code red. We finally found a place in the most touristy square that had "America Breakfast" advertised outside. We got scrambled eggs, 2 slices of "bacon" (which in Europe is not REAL bacon... it is a thin, floppy, not crispy and not smoked piece of ham. IT'S HAM PEOPLE!!), a piece of toast, a sliver of strawberry and orange juice. Our bill was $70 American dollars.
I am a firm believer that breakfast is the key to kick starting a healthy metabolism. I believe that being 33 and still being svelte has a lot to do with my eating habits. I eat a good breakfast and then I eat small meals and snacks throughout the day.
But mostly I am a firm believer that breakfast is important for me to have if the people around me value their lives.

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Day 24- Flaky Friends

I like a lot of flaky things. Biscuits, chocolate, snow... But I can't stand flaky friends. I was having dinner with my best friend and his lady tonight and we started talking about flaky friends and how annoying they are.
There are many types of flaky friends, and you come across them all in LA.
There is the noncommittal flake. When you ask them to hang out, it is usually replied to with a "I might be down." Which is not the same as a friend that has a busy schedule and might have to work last minute or do something else important. This person literally has nothing better to do, but just doesn't want to commit to one solid plan.
There is also the exploring-my-options flake. When you ask this flake to hang out, they will always reply with "who else is going to be there?" This makes you feel shitty for two reasons. They ask who else will be there because 1) they want to know if anyone better than you will be attending because you alone aren't good enough to warrant a trip out of the house or 2) they dislike most of your other friends and want to avoid most of them. There is no winning with that question.
There is the always-late flake. They will show up... but they will NEVER be on time. I am a punctuality freak. I was raised to believe that being late shows the people waiting for you that you think you are more important than them-- that their time means nothing to you. The late flake will turn being late into a cute little joke, like they are a character on a sitcom and every time they say something about being late, a laugh track will play to cut the tension. There are no laugh tracks in life.
There is the no-show flake. This is probably my most hated flake. These are the flakes that DO commit but DON'T show up. Or they send you a text 10 minutes before you are supposed to meet to let you know they aren't coming. As if that makes it less rude. I host a lot of girls nights and parties and most times I ask for RSVP's to make sure there is enough food and space. When someone just no-shows or late-bails me, it really chaps my ass. (Emergencies are different. But usually it is just self entitlement.) I had a girls night once that 14 girls RSVP'd to, and 2 showed up. TWO.
There is the never-invites-you-out flake. This friend hangs out all of the time... when YOU make plans or ask them to hang. This friend will never actually invite you out to do anything ever. Friendships shouldn't be work. Friendships also shouldn't feel like weird relationships. If you don't want someone in your life... Just don't hang out with them anymore. Don't do fake hangs!
This leads into the never-pays-for-anything flake. This is pretty self explanatory. They get cheap when the dinner bill comes. They never uber split. They cut out on tabs. They never offer gas money when you drive everywhere. This flake is really just a scrub in a flakes clothing.
I am sure there are many more flake varieties, but these came to mind first today. And now I am tired and full from my dinner with my not-flaky friends so I am calling it a day. Feel free to offer other flake varieties below...
Happy Sunday.

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