Unfollowed.

I have never been the type of person that ever just wanted to be a pretty face with thousands of adoring fans telling me how perfect I am. I have always had really strong opinions and a giant mouth. I have always been unapologetic for taking a stance for the underdog and for my people. I have always been strongly outspoken on womens rights, LGBTQ rights, civil rights, environmental issues, health care, etc. This isn't new.

I know we all saw the Meryl Streep speech the other night. What I find so interesting is the backlash. I feel the same backlash on a much smaller scale-- but it still blows my mind. Why, just because someone is an artist, are they not entitled to opinions? Does being a public figure all of a sudden nullify any rights you have to being a human and having human emotions and thoughts? Is your doctor allowed to think and speak freely? How about your mechanic? How about a banker? Lawyer? Nail tech? Hair stylist? Can your neighbor express their thoughts as they see fit? I hope your answer to all of these is yes because we are all humans living in the free world.

Celebrities and artists have a bigger reach, yes. And they also have more influence, totally. And with that comes a great responsibility. But in my opinion the responsibility isn't to censor ourselves-- the responsibility is to speak out on the things that matter to us. If I make a post saying I will miss Obama and 500 Trump loving, gun toting, flag waving Republicans unfollow me... cool. If I make a post about gay rights and 1 person who thought being gay was wrong goes "wait! I really like Cherry and what she believes in, maybe I should take a second to rethink"... that one moment is worth those 500 lost "fans." I AM NOT YOUR PUPPET. I am not here to dance for you as you see fit.

I want to get one major point clear here-- I DO NOT DO WHAT I DO TO COLLECT FANS AND TO BE TOLD HOW GREAT I AM ALL OF THE TIME. Is it nice to hear nice things, of course!! Does it make my spirit soar when I get to hug a girl and she tells me my videos changed her life? YES! Am I going to cry myself to sleep because some girl that posts 1000 videos of contouring and looking "perfect" has about 15 times the following that I do? Nope. We all do what we do for our own reasons. I happen to want to share my passions-- which include both superficial and non-superficial topics.

Another point I feel strongly about-- my page is not your playground for "free speech." My pages are my online living room. If you walked into my living room and started attacking me and calling me names, I would gladly tell you to get out of my house. I have that same right online in my own space, just as you have that same right on yours. But just because my space is public, doesn't mean it isn't still mine.

I love when people leave comments to try to bait me and call me a whiny liberal baby and say I will probably delete their post because I can't handle an opposing opinion. And then I hit delete and laugh. I am all for differing opinions. It makes this world interesting and colorful. And I am all for well informed, educated arguments presented without attacking or name calling. I rarely delete comments from my page. But you better believe when some ignorant man calls me "a retarded bitch" for being sad that the Obamas are leaving office, he gets deleted and blocked. I don't encourage that behavior and will not dignify trolls like that with a second of my attention.

Lastly, if you find what I post SO offensive and distasteful that you cannot bear ONE more second of following me without perhaps dying... Feel free to just hit the unfollow button. Making a big dramatic announcement that you are unfollowing me will only be met with an eye roll and will only make you look silly. Exit with grace. Move on if you must.

All of that being said, I welcome anyone to follow me that likes the things that I post and is willing to skip past the things that they don't. I welcome open minded, free thinkers. I welcome anyone interested in engaging in respectful, adult conversations. If you want to see a pretty face with a vacant space between the ears and in their heart, I am not your girl. And that is ok.

I am a different flavor.

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New Year, New Stuff?

Lately I have been thinking a lot about materialism. I feel like we live in a modern society where "stuff" is valued beyond anything. I feel the pressure to keep up with other influencers that have the newest palettes or tools or enough clothing to do a new outfit everyday or whatever. I also feel the same pressure to just keep up in life with the stuff that everyone else has. The newest phone, the newest car, the biggest collection of vintage furniture/clothing/jewelry/etc.

I really sat down and thought hard about it the other day and I realized that even though I like stuff, and certain stuff is important to me, it is not stuff that makes me happy. Of course there are things that are basic human needs (food, water and shelter), and those things make me happy because they keep me alive and healthy. But I really think that we put too much emphasis and pressure on ourselves to collect things that really have no bearing on our true happiness.

This is my first blog of the year and I am going to challenge myself this year to work on figuring out what makes me truly happy, versus what I think makes me happy. Do I feel that moment of elation when I open a new box of shoes? Sure. But it is the same temporary brain spike that I get when I eat chocolate. It is temporary and it isn't real. It is like smiling without your eyes. It is surface happiness.

I am not saying that I am going to put all of my earthly belongings on craigslist tomorrow. I like my comforts and my things. I am just making a commitment to myself to put less pressure on myself to keep up with those around me and to flaunt what I have. I want a simpler life and I think this is a good first step.

Happy New Year babes.

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Stop Searching for Outrage

I woke up this morning to an inbox FULL of the same comment from my youtube channel. The comment reads "Is that a fucking swastika on your necklace in photo 7 of your photo gallery? Take that shit down"

Not only was this left in my inbox as a private message, it was also left as a comment on dozens of my videos. Before I replied to this lovely lady, I took a deep breath to regroup and phrase my response firmly but with all of the kindness I could muster.

The photo (to the right) was a picture of me from high school. It is black and white. The necklace in question is actually an ANTI swastika-- a type of necklace that was super popular among the punk and ska crowd in the late 90s. This necklace was sold EVERYWHERE. I am sure many of you reading this had one. The circle and cross that made it anti were red. Which means in a black and white photo, it is really hard to see. Ok, I get it. To someone that doesn't know what this necklace is, at first glance it might look like I am just a super nazi.

Here is the thing though... Why did this girl feel the need to blast my social media, outing me as a nazi, before I even had a chance to explain or defend myself? This is a prime example of the beast of human that social media has created. Everyone is just primed and ready for outrage. In fact, people scour every last deep corner for it in hopes that they will be the one to uncover all of our dark, seedy pasts. And ok, I get it-- when you find pictures of Tila Tequila doing nazi salutes at a white supremacist rally, it is pretty hard to explain away. But a 20 year old grainy black and white photo is hardly a smoking gun.

I guess the point of my blog today is to stop the witch hunts. If you find something on the internet that seems suspect and you would like further clarification, ask the poster directly. Don't DEMAND something of a stranger based off of a half baked judgment. And regardless of what it is that you find offensive, it is never your right as a human to make demands of another human. Like it or not we live in a country full of freedoms and being an asshole won't change anyones perspective. There are a lot of things in this world and on the internet that you might not find to your liking. So keep moving. Or get off of the internet and actually make real changes.

Happy Thursday.

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United we Stand, Divided we Fall.

November 8, 2016. I cried myself to sleep. November 9, 2016. I woke up crying and walked around in a black fog all day. I was hateful. I was hurt. I was mad as hell and wanted to strike out at anyone that I deemed at fault.

November 10, 2016. I woke up anew. Today I realize that you can't battle hate with hate. It just doesn't work. I stepped back in the middle of a Facebook war last night and thought, what is my hate getting me right now? What is my hate changing? Nothing. It is just making me as bad and as hateful as the person attacking me. I told the guy on the other end that I respected him and chose to remove myself. I realized that after I did that, I had won.

One thing I refuse to do is run. This is MY country. This is OUR country. I am staying and I am fighting just like the generations before me did. The generations that fought for women's rights. The generations that fought for civil rights. The generations that fought to get our society to a place of love and acceptance. It is now our duty to keep that torch burning and keep fighting. Not everyone has the ability or the privilege to run... We must stay for those that have no choice.
Now is the time to support each other. Support your LGBTQ family. Support your family of color. Support your female family. Support your immigrant family. Support all of the family that is scared for what will happen in their lives now. Be the change you want to see.

Now is the time for everyone to get involved. Stop venting on Facebook. Stop twitter feuding. Get out there and figure out what you can do to change the things that need changing and keep the things that are working. MAKE your voice be heard. Get off of your couch and go to (peaceful) protests. Get out of your house and vote on the measures that will save our rights. Write to your congress men and women and TELL them what you need. Be active in your community. In the next primary-- VOTE. Lets get a candidate that speaks for US.

Am I angry? Sure. Am I scared? Absolutely. But today I choose to take all of those feelings and channel them positively. I choose to keep my head up. I choose to believe that love will win.
It's only 4 years.

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Missionaries.

Today I heard an unexpected knock on my front door, and since we don't have a peep hole, I just opened it. And standing on the other side were two young men in suits and bicycle helmets, toting the Book of Mormon. As soon as I looked down and saw the book, before they even said anything, I said, "Hello! Sorry, not interested!" They were both very nice and as I was slowly closing the door, they kept trying to reel me in. I thanked them and said no politely, but I definitely closed the door before they could pander anymore.

Here is the thing, I GET that missionaries can be annoying. Especially if you are atheist, agnostic, or they are preaching a religion that has values that contrast your own. And I get it that they can be relentlessly pushy. I know people that will go out of their way to prank, shame and be glorious dickheads to missionaries that DARE knock on their doors just to get rid of them. I have had friends that answer the door naked. I have had friends that have just screamed bloody murder. I have had friends that said horrible, shocking things.

But here is the thing... They are generally young kids that are sent on missions thousands of miles away from their homes that can sometimes be very sheltered. These young boys today couldn't have been more than 18 or 19. They are in full slacks and ties in 100 degree weather. They are preaching something they so desperately believe in. They probably have never experienced the lifestyles they will encounter in this city and its slums. And they had smiles on their faces even as I was closing my door.

The point of this blog is not to judge religion: whether it be people that preach it or people that react to it. The point of this blog is simply to say-- be kinder to children and people that are strong in their faith. It is not for us to judge others beliefs just as we hope they will not judge ours. If someone comes to your door preaching or selling something you don't like, be kind. It takes nothing away from your life. By all means, close your door... But don't do it like an asshole.

That is all. Happy Tuesday.

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Day 64- Keep Your Sexist Remarks

This morning I woke up to find a post in a Facebook group that I follow that was meant to be kind and respectful. It was by a man that puts on a large festival thanking the two women that work for him and telling the public how much they do for him. This festival is at least one of the gals full time jobs. JOBS. The photo he chose was a promo pic from a denim line of both of them. And yes, they both happen to be mega babes.
Here is where I was shocked. I scrolled through the comments and while a lot of it was just general "Wow! They are pretty" and other generally supportive posts, there was a good handful of posts that alluded to wanting to have sex with these women. There were posts from people that were shocked the man posting could get any work done without wanting to have sex with these girls constantly. There were even posts talking about being on top of them and under them. I was absolutely disgusted.
Being the general loud mouth that I am, I had to speak. I made a post saying that I thought the sexist comments were rude and uncalled for and that I doubted these men would like it if other men talked to their moms and daughters like that. The post was about the work place merits of these women. It literally made NO mention of their looks or physical attributes. In my opinion, what they look like shouldn't have mattered at all to anyone reading. But ok, I get that people will comment nice things when they see hot babes. And that is cool.
So anyway, fast forward to about an hour ago... A comment pops up from a gal telling me to mind my own business and that there are thousands of women ALL over the world that would be OVERJOYED to have men talk about them in a sexually explicit way because it makes them feel good. (yes, these were her actual words) And also, that if they didn't want to be talked about that way, they wouldn't have worn tight, revealing clothing in the photos (they were wearing jeans and t-shirts). She then told me to stop acting like a delicate flower. How DARE I be offended about verbal sexual abuse. Gosh, my bad! She ended her rant by telling me to stop "sucking the fun out of life." And then, the icing on the cake, she said "Feminists, lol."
I just can't. If being sexually harassed by weird, older, strange men on the internet is the "fun" in life, then yes, by all means, I will suck that right out of my life. Come to think of it, any man that makes these comments on the internet-- regardless of what they look like. I find it hard to believe that there are many women on this earth that enjoy men talking about being on top of them on a post that their BOSS posted about their work merits. I would be horrified if these comments were presented in front of my boss. There are laws set forth in work places against this behavior. Because it is WRONG. Also, just because SOME people don't find racist remarks offensive, doesn't mean they are ok. I don't get this logic, at all.
I just don't understand women like this. Feminism isn't a dirty word. Standing up for our sexual rights and also wanting to be treated respectfully and professionally shouldn't make me a delicate flower. It should make me an educated, thoughtful, outspoken woman.
There IS a line between kind and disrespectful and I will never stop protecting my sisters from this disgusting behavior. It is NOT ok.

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Day 29- My Trans Girls

As many of you know, I travel the world teaching hot babes classes on vintage hair and makeup techniques. From time to time I get messages like this that elate me and break my heart at the same time. I have always been an outspoken supporter of the LGBTQ community. I don't give a shit that it is a trend right now... I don't care what celebrities are transitioning. My heart has always spoken to me on this topic. I love love. I love people living in the bodies they feel right in. I love people expressing their gender identity however it feels right to them. I love people just coexisting and letting each other be.
When I get emails from trans gals telling me they are afraid to attend or asking my permission to see if it is ok, it makes my little heart hurt. I can't imagine what it is like to live in a world that is so hurtful and judgmental that even attending a class that is meant to be super fun and welcoming fills you with anxiety and fear. I had a trans gal attend my class a few years ago and she was just the sweetest gal I ever met. She sent a similar email but actually asked if it was ok for her to attend. I immediately wrote her back and tried my best to make her feel welcome. At the class, she timidly asked questions and when the class was over, she waited behind everyone to get a picture and was the last to ask. She said she wanted a picture but didn't have a friend with her to take it, so I asked the gal standing next to her if she would mind... and of course she didn't and happily took it for us. My trans lady was so grateful and sweet and I was so happy that I could give her a night that was a positive experience where she felt like just another one of the girls and no one stared or judged or had a shitty attitude.
Today I got this email from a non-binary trans person asking about my classes and expressing apprehension at attending. My favorite part was the little height pun. I love when people can still find humor in a potentially scary situation. I think we will get along just fine!
Even as I am typing this, I am getting all of the feels and my eyeballs are welling up. My hope is that someday everyone will be free to live in the body that they fit and no one will care. Until then, I will keep loving all of my ladies of all sizes, shapes, races, gender identities, and whatever other variations there may be. I will hug you all the same.

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Day 27- Quelling the Overshare Beast

I know I put a lot of personal stuff on the internet. Maybe more than I should. I have friends that are ultra private and won't even put their kids faces on social media. And part of me admires that attitude. But I have always tended to be the opposite. I blame live journal. If I experience something great (or something bad) I want the whole world to share in my wonderment! I just ate a burrito the size of my head! Instagram! I just saw a guy riding a unicycle with one leg in London! Facebook! I just killed a grizzly bear with my bare hands! Twitter!
I think it is such a strange concept to be a "public figure" since the advent of the internet. I mean, I basically owe my entire career to the world wide web, so I can't hate on it too much. But I also feel that the longer I allow my entire life to be public, the more intrusive I feel the internet can be.
The more of your life you give to people, the more of your life people feel entitled to. I made a video about our wedding... and mind you, I also shared a lot of details about my planning beforehand... but I wanted our vows to be private. When I expressed this feeling, I had a good amount of my followers get upset because they somehow felt that I owed that part of my life to them. I was so bewildered! Here I was pouring almost my whole life out to the internet and it wasn't enough! WE WANT MORE!! A good explanation of how it feels is feeling like people literally want to wear your skin. Would that be enough though??
When I first started navigating the world of being a social media influencer, I shared everything. EVERYTHING. At some moments Trevor would grab my hand and say "Can this just be for us?" He was really good at quelling my overshare beast. But just in this list year, I have self quelled a lot. I am starting to like the feeling of being out and not always thinking of how to capture what I am doing for you guys-- and instead just enjoying myself, my family and my friends.
You guys have probably noticed less day in the life videos and also less personal instagram posts. I like not having to remember to always pack my camera when I am going on vacation. I like not having to set up a selfie at just the right moment with the right lighting when I am trying to experience something new or share a moment with Trevor. I feel like it is healthier for me as a human to start to draw these lines. Ironically I am telling you all of this on my super personal blog. Ha! But I have full control here. And I compose these blogs when I have time and energy and I can think about them. And I still get to choose what and how much to share. I like that control.
Next time you get on a site like Perez Hilton (I know, I am guilty too), or you pick up a Star Magazine, or you watch Inside Edition... Remember that these people you are so starved to know every detail about are just that, people. Gwen Stefani's divorce is none of our business. Kristin Bell's kid is none of our business. David Bowie's cancer was none of our business. Remember that even though you WANT this information, you are not ENTITLED to this information.
The same goes for social media influencers. Yes, we share a lot of our lives. And even if you feel that we share all of it, so you should have access to all of it, we don't and you shouldn't. A lot of editing goes into our posts. For so many reasons!
My blog sort of has ADD today. But I guess my point is that I will give you guys as much of me as I possibly can. I will be real and authentic and I will not censor myself. But please don't bleed me dry. I am still just
a person.

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