Wednesday, January 27, 2016

Day 27- Quelling the Overshare Beast

I know I put a lot of personal stuff on the internet. Maybe more than I should. I have friends that are ultra private and won't even put their kids faces on social media. And part of me admires that attitude. But I have always tended to be the opposite. I blame live journal. If I experience something great (or something bad) I want the whole world to share in my wonderment! I just ate a burrito the size of my head! Instagram! I just saw a guy riding a unicycle with one leg in London! Facebook! I just killed a grizzly bear with my bare hands! Twitter!
I think it is such a strange concept to be a "public figure" since the advent of the internet. I mean, I basically owe my entire career to the world wide web, so I can't hate on it too much. But I also feel that the longer I allow my entire life to be public, the more intrusive I feel the internet can be.
The more of your life you give to people, the more of your life people feel entitled to. I made a video about our wedding... and mind you, I also shared a lot of details about my planning beforehand... but I wanted our vows to be private. When I expressed this feeling, I had a good amount of my followers get upset because they somehow felt that I owed that part of my life to them. I was so bewildered! Here I was pouring almost my whole life out to the internet and it wasn't enough! WE WANT MORE!! A good explanation of how it feels is feeling like people literally want to wear your skin. Would that be enough though??
When I first started navigating the world of being a social media influencer, I shared everything. EVERYTHING. At some moments Trevor would grab my hand and say "Can this just be for us?" He was really good at quelling my overshare beast. But just in this list year, I have self quelled a lot. I am starting to like the feeling of being out and not always thinking of how to capture what I am doing for you guys-- and instead just enjoying myself, my family and my friends.
You guys have probably noticed less day in the life videos and also less personal instagram posts. I like not having to remember to always pack my camera when I am going on vacation. I like not having to set up a selfie at just the right moment with the right lighting when I am trying to experience something new or share a moment with Trevor. I feel like it is healthier for me as a human to start to draw these lines. Ironically I am telling you all of this on my super personal blog. Ha! But I have full control here. And I compose these blogs when I have time and energy and I can think about them. And I still get to choose what and how much to share. I like that control.
Next time you get on a site like Perez Hilton (I know, I am guilty too), or you pick up a Star Magazine, or you watch Inside Edition... Remember that these people you are so starved to know every detail about are just that, people. Gwen Stefani's divorce is none of our business. Kristin Bell's kid is none of our business. David Bowie's cancer was none of our business. Remember that even though you WANT this information, you are not ENTITLED to this information.
The same goes for social media influencers. Yes, we share a lot of our lives. And even if you feel that we share all of it, so you should have access to all of it, we don't and you shouldn't. A lot of editing goes into our posts. For so many reasons!
My blog sort of has ADD today. But I guess my point is that I will give you guys as much of me as I possibly can. I will be real and authentic and I will not censor myself. But please don't bleed me dry. I am still just
a person.

8 comments:

  1. My husband is good about reminding me this too. The other night we went out and I was dressed to the nines and looked hot as heck. I didn't take any photos before we left. No selfies at the show. And when we got home, we were busy with *ahem* other things...

    The next day I told him I was kinda bummed I didn't get a photo because I had looked so cute. He said he remembered and had a photo perfect memory and told me what I had worn and how my hair was. That made me remember. The whole point of dressing up was for him (and myself). If I remember what I wore and he does too, then it's not a big deal to not have a photo of it.

    But still, I always think of "pictures or it didn't happen". By my career is taking photos!

    xoxo,
    Tara O.

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  2. I admire how much you do share (and the nosey part of me loves it!) but I'm happy to hear you are allowing yourself to enjoy the moments... Having to record, capture and post things constantly must be very stressful! Even if you love it!

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  3. For what you do share, I thank you. And for what you don't share - well done you!

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  4. I think you're amazing and I love that you share some day to day things. I love your face and would probably be a weird creepo that would totally wear your skin lol (just kidding :) But seriously the few times I've met you have been amazing and I love that you're exactly the way you are on Facebook and Instagram and all the other stuff. I feel so lucky to see what you do share but I agree that's it's nice not to have to share every single moment. I was guilty of it too. I think people are starting to realize that social media isn't and doesn't have to be everything. I share less and less of my private life on Facebook and my posts are far and few in between. Now I'm just boring old good morning posts and where's my coffee lol. Anyway I think you're awesome and I think you should only share what you feel comfortable sharing. Screw what anybody says its your life and they seriously need to get it together. Anyway I'm just rambling but I love your face!! ❤️

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  5. You know what really matters, Cherry? The ONLY thing that matters is that you are REAL, no matter how little or how much you share. Even though we haven't met yet, I can already tell that you are incredibly genuine and humble. Your purpose on this earth is clear, and as I've told you, you're already achieving it! You don't need to answer to anyone, as long as you can sleep at night, with a clear conscience. Still can't wait to meet you soon!!! :)

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  6. This is a hard one for me. When I started doing more pin up and photo shoots and just taking a hella lot more selfies, I created a pinup name and public figure page. Mainly because I am friends with lots of my kids parents of facebook and I figured they had to be really sick of pictures of me in red lipstick and cheeky poses clogging up their feed.

    But I also don't really want any of my real info on my page. When I had a couple pictures published from the shake up last year, the photo credits were under my real name - so I never posted them to my pin up page.

    But I'm not really that public of a person, I post pictures to it, but really nothing personal. So it just kind of sits there and is followed by a bunch of rando's from far away lands. I have a hard time trying to find a balance that is fun, and not too invasive or exploitative of the real me.

    Anyhoo you do a damn good job keeping us in the loop about your life, without giving up every little detail! xo

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  7. I just wrote on your video, and now I read this and made me think of Josh Radnor: Fame’s lesson plan:

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Jr7MkrHDGt0

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Thank you so much for stopping by! Please be nice and kind with your words even if you have something to criticize. I am trying to answer to as many questions as possible but please have some understanding that I cannot answer to all of you. XOXO