Day 59- How Music Makes Me Feel

I just signed up for Apple Music and I have spent the last week rediscovering the music of my youth. It is crazy how you can not hear a song for 10+ years and the second it comes on, you know all of the words, all of the fills, all of the harmonies... And you are instantly transported back to that moment 10+ years ago.
I recently did hair and makeup for a girl that was a music therapist. This idea really interested me. I am a person that is very swayed by music. If I am feeling good and hopeful, happy upbeat music makes me even more cheerful. If I am feeling romantic, sappy music makes my heart swell. If I am feeling sad, slow melancholic music makes me weep. I fully believe that music does magic things to our souls.
I think of my life in terms of what music I was listening to at what point. I have my Cure years. I have my Rancid years. I have my Stray Cats years. I have all of the phases and moods and moments that coincide with each album and each song and each show.
I miss the days of going to the record store and picking out the newest single. Or looking at the new release board and counting the days until a new album came out so you could pore over the music while you scrutinized every square inch of the CD insert. When you saw the rare photo of the band, it was exciting! When there was a lyrics sheet in the insert, you spent a full week memorizing every last word. This was very helpful with Rancid albums. I miss obsessing over a new album and keeping it on repeat for weeks on end.
I miss mix tapes! Or mix CD's. Or whatever. I miss the thrill of a bunch of random songs put together that weren't organized by a mysterious "shuffle" that doesn't actually shuffle all of your songs, but just picks 10-20 songs it wants to play all of the time. The feeling of getting a mix tape from someone that put thought into it was unmatchable. The excitement of making a mix tape for someone you cared about and the nervousness of handing it over and hoping they love it... There was
nothing quite like it.
I feel that music these days is so disposable. It is more about what the band looks like, who they are dating, and how many instagram followers they have than about the actual music. And I feel that a lot of people are making music now more for the weird internet fame than for the love. Don't get me wrong-- the internet has allowed so much more access to music than there ever was before. But it almost makes it TOO easy. Kids don't care about it like we used to. We used to spend hours in our record stores digging through albums and discovering new and exciting things. We relied on compilation CD's to show us the path to new music. It was obscure and it was exciting. But now the internet tells you what is cool in every direction you look. The rawness of discovering new music is gone.
I guess there isn't really a point to my blog today. I just really, really like music. And I miss the old days.

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Day 47- The Dread of Filming

I love what I do. I love reaching hot babes all over the world. I love making women feel confident and unique and beautiful. I love putting fun and positive products out into the world. I don't even mind editing. But man, I really don't like filming!
I can't quite say why, exactly. Maybe it is because I am not a "makeup everyday" kind of girl. Maybe it is because when I work from home, and film beautiful hair and makeup, I then sit at home doing other work in full hair and makeup that no one else will appreciate. I definitely feel like it is such a waste of effort and product when I wash my face down the drain at the end of a filming day.
Maybe because the set up and tear down takes more time than the filming. Making sure my camera is at the right angle/distance and focused. Making sure my lights hit me right so they don't create any shadow mustaches. Making sure I have a mirror off camera at the right angle so I can actually see what the heck I am doing without burning my head off. Making sure all of my products are in front of me and in order to I can be efficient.
No matter how organized I am-- without fail-- almost every time I film, I will be wedged into my little filming corner with everything ready to go, only to realize I have forgotten something. And this invariably happens at least 3-4 times in a filming day. What also makes me mad enough to kill is when I think I have hit record and I get halfway through a tutorial before I realize that I am performing for an audience of 1-- me. When this happens I have to brush out my hair/wash my face and start over again. And depending on where in the process it happens, brushes and/or hairspray cans go flying in my rage. It is also super fun when my battery dies or my memory card runs out and it has been several minutes since I have noticed. I should make a gag reel of all of the times I yell "God dammit!!" Or "Fuuuuuuck!!" while I am filming. I generally have a pretty clean mouth, but filming can bring the inner sailor out of me.
Maybe it is because we live on a through street in Burbank where a sundry of vehicles bomb down at any given time. Garbage man? Yep! Gas man? Yep! Recycling? You bet! Moving vans? Of course! And do they go slow? Nope. How is it that the garbage man/recycling man somehow comes down my street and empties something almost every day of the week??? Now for a normal person with a normal job, this wouldn't really matter. And I sleep like I am dead, so it doesn't bother me there. But I have a pretty good camera, and it just LOVES to pick up outside noise. Don't even get me started on the produce truck that comes twice a day and honks its "La Cucaracha" horn at 135 decibels. Or the ice cream man that comes year round, which ordinarily would be delightful, but the combination of the noise and the fact that I can't eat ice cream is like a double gut punch. Or the elote man that walks back and forth ALL day on the weekends honking his little horn. I mean, I love corn, frozen treats and veggies, but COME ON!
My favorite (not really) is when it is 800 degrees outside and I have to film, but I can't have my AC or a fan on because they are too loud. So I have to film while my body is dying and I am trying to mask my sweat mustache under two glaring lights. Man, fighting mustaches seem to be the hardest variable in my filming life.
I know I am just being
a giant baby and that my life isn't really that bad. And that my job pretty much rules. But I just want everyone to know that the "behind the scenes" are not quite as glamorous as y'all would like to think.
Oh, and I am 100% never wearing pants in any of my videos.

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Day 34- Wasting my Life on my Phone

You ever have those days where you feel like your phone is a complete and utter time suck? Today is one of those days for me. Don't get me wrong, I LOVE the internet-- and my phone. For obvious reasons. But there are so many times in my day when I find myself just needlessly scrolling through crap. Just crap. Memes and cat videos and political propaganda and unresearched "facts."

I do it at any moment when my brain isn't being occupied with thought or a task. In line at the post office, waiting at the doctor, at really long stop lights. My first instinct is always to grab my phone. You ever leave your phone at home? Yeah... how was that? Did you panic? I know I do. Even if I don't need my phone for anything specific, the thought of being without it is horrifying. This was never more evident than my first trip overseas. When you don't have wifi in a foreign country, your phone is basically a camera. And still, my first instinct was always to pull out my phone to check... Well, nothing really. I have actually read that the new generations tolerance for boredom is about zero because of electronics and social media. And you know the benefit of boredom? Creativity! When your brain has nothing to do, it dreams and creates and works. With all of those spaces filled in by constant stimulation, the brain never really has time to develop imagination and creativity. Would there have been a Beethoven if he had an iPhone 6?

I try to make it a point when I am with friends or having alone time with my husband to put my phone away. It is really hard because my job is basically being on my phone. But I have to remind myself that whatever comment or email or message that pops up will be there in an hour. Or two. Or tomorrow. I don't HAVE to reply to people right away. No one owns my time but me. It is important to me to have real human interaction. As much as I love you guys, you aren't real. I can't see you and touch you and smell you (which in some cases is for the best). We as humans need other humans. We need to be around other humans to learn empathy and real love and to understand the idiosyncrasies that make us... well... human. Sarcasm. Frustration. Hurt. Tenderness. These are the things that living online take away from us.

Before bed, I have started to limit my phone time. I give myself a few last minutes when I get in bed to make sure I have taken care of my tasks for the day, and then the phone goes on silent and the book comes out. Sometimes I think we forget to unplug from the backlit world. I sleep like a baby when I give my brain an hour or so to unwind and shut off. 

So here is my challenge to you dedicated readers. Cut your phone time in half this week. Read a book. Go for a walk. Eat a meal alone. Talk to a friend. Snuggle your loved one. Whatever you do... do it without a device in your hand or on your person. Ignore your phone when it buzzes or rings. Whoever is on the other end can wait.

Remember what it is like to be human.

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