Wednesday, December 28, 2016

The Spark of Shopping is Gone

So today I went shopping for myself for the first time in as long as I can remember. I do get a lot of free clothing in the mail from companies and I just generally hate shopping so I rarely do it. I am the type of person that will find a pair of jeans that fit and buy 4 of them. Sometimes I feel like Homer Simpson-- with better hair. Today I was feeling bored with my closet so I thought I would explore the mall for Holiday sales and see if anything sparked my interest.
I happily stepped into the mall, filled with post Christmas cheer, enjoying all of the smiling faces and giant sale signs. But then I was quickly and forcefully reminded that I have recently gained some weight. And I instantly hated everything I put on. I hated the way everything made my butt look flat. I hated how everything squeezed me in the middle. I hate the dances I had to do to even wiggle into most of the pieces I chose. I hated looking at my body in the vicious 3 way mirror under the unforgiving fluorescent lighting.
Side note: why don't stores get better lighting in their dressing rooms??? Seems like good business sense to me. Do you want your customers to see every last teaspoon of cellulite on their bodies when they are trying on your dresses? Dummies.
So back to the matter at hand, shopping. I went to three different stores before I decided that no dress or pants on earth are ever going to look good on me again and I should just plunge myself from the top level of the mall. Then after a 1 minute and 37 second freak out, I walked myself down to the shoe department and bought myself sky high heels that I probably will never wear but make my ass and my legs look great.
I guess there is no moral to my story today. Just wanted to share how I am feeling and hope that it makes you gals feeling the same mall demoralization not feel so alone. I feel that all women, big or small, have these moments where your body just doesn't want to cooperate with what your heart deems to suit you. My best advice? Regroup and buy some shoes.

14 comments:

  1. Thanks for sharing, often it eats a way at self esteem looking at the IG feed, not that I am happy you had that experience...I haven't entered a mall other than for Sephora for a very long time...exception was when I was in Burbank and went to Magnolia Blvd ...and felt the same way...try being 50, having had 3 kids, a total hysterectomy and breast implants removed, nothing about my body is recognisable or where it should be...thank goodness for mail order and my alterations lady!

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  2. Dressing room mirrors are assholes! Yay for shoes....my one true love.

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  3. Thank you for sharing this. Sometimes I feel like I am the only girl with these problems. But now that i know beautiful women like yourself also have these problems, it makes me feel a little bit more normal.

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  4. Shoes fix everything!!!!!! And you're gorgeous! ❤

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  5. Feeling the EXACT same these past few days :(

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  6. And this is why I buy a lot of scarves, jewellery, and bags - they always fit! Sorry you had a crappy shopping experience, but yay for shoes.

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  7. I feel your pain. I am very petite and hate shopping. I have my favorite stores that I know I can find things in my size and only shop there. You are beautiful and the confidence comes with age. I have body images issues also and am finally learning to love my body at 36. Hang in there and keep smiling.

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  8. After two pregnancies I no longer recognise my body. My large boobs, which I was once quite proud of, have become flabby obstacles to wearing shirts and dresses. I have slim legs, but have recently come down with psoriasis on my arms and legs so I no longer want to expose them. It's really hard to find the positives in my appearance right now but a pair of killer heels and a cool bag definitely help. And the fact that my husband is mad about me and thinks I'm sexy no matter what.

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  9. Been there more times than not. When I worked at Betsey , I made sure that lighting was more natural & mirrors were true to life. I HV similar problem with pants too seems like all pants are made for girls with bubble booties which is great for them but they need to make them to flatter tiny booties too! PS you look marvelous!

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  10. I have almost the same issue, except my number one clothing insecurity is my height. I'm 6 feet tall so I rarely wear pants (flooding still isn't in style unfortunately) and heels make me feel like a freak. Your body and soul is beautiful cherry, Sourpuss and Voodoo Vixen keep me far away from those hell hole malls :,D

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  11. Clothes in the mall just don't fit me no matter what size I try. I can only seem to get clothes that fit right at the thrift store's. Companies have changed the body shape of there clothing so much that only pre 2000's fit me.

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  12. Totally with you on the mirrors / lighting...highlighting every single dimple...they must lose so much money when we give up and leave! 😯

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